Societal Perceptions Quotes

“There are a few essential qualities within healthy marriages:  happiness, communication, family history, employment, children (or no children based upon the agreement within the marriage) budgeting (financial stability), love, spirituality, sex, communication, effort to break cycles or generational curses and being equally yoked” (McEachern 14).

“Entering a relationship or engagement is a form of commitment, however, neither is equivalent to marriage” (McEachern 14).

“Men and women who make decisions based upon the moment instead of making a well thought out decision typically end up having children out of wedlock” (McEachern 28).

“Children raised in single-parent homes sometimes learn different skills in comparison to children raised in a two-parent home” (McEachern 32).

“There are alternative methods of discipline that are more effective such as implementing reward systems, utilizing point systems, time out, withholding privileges, grounding, modeling positive behaviors, praising good behavior, establishing rules, setting limits, saying no and talking to children about their behaviors” (McEachern 33).

“Unprotected sex results in innocent children being used as bargain tools for child support and income as well as an increase in unmarried couples.  The world has become a sexual playground where children, teenagers and adults bargain sex for money.  Adults have stooped to a low by using sex to trap someone by having a child in order to secure financially security or to have a lifelong tie to the person with no consideration of how a few moments of unprotected sex impacts the child that two reckless adults came together momentarily and created” (McEachern 50).

“Being in sync sexually is essential to a healthy relationship” (McEachern 51).

“Irresponsible and immature individuals engage in premature unprotected sex without birth control instead of safely preventing the spreading of sexually transmitted diseases or having kids with people they have no intention of marrying” (McEachern 52).

“Before dating a person or becoming sexually involved, determine if the person has children, any cases with child protective services, criminal history, history of domestic violence or history of sexual abuse.  Evaluate the person’s employment history (can they maintain a job or have they ever had a job).  Is the person financially stable, does the person have life insurance, does the person have health insurance or does the person have multiple children from different partners” (McEachern 58)?

“How will the baggage that comes with a person affect you, your home, your credit, your family, your finances and your children” (McEachern 59)?

“Children need both parents, not just one parent” (McEachern 61).

“Do not be the backdoor girl while he walks out the front door with someone else” (McEachern 66).

“He is not serious if he does not call you, does not see you when he says he will see you, you have no idea where he resides, you have not met his family, there is no picture of you on his social media nor any indication on social media that he is in a relationship” (McEachern 66).

“When individuals are dating someone attractive people may say things to the individual such as “you are a lucky man” or “you are a lucky woman.”  What is lucky about dating someone attractive?  An attractive person should have more going for themselves other than physical appearance.  Is physical appearance all that matters?  What is lucky about an attractive person who is unable to communicate, lacks parenting skills, does not have morals, lack ethics, mismanages money, and has no work experience” (McEachern 71)?

“There is a myth that interracial dating creates beautiful children with “good” hair and an ideal complexion.  Where did this stigma originate and why are black men feeding into this premature misconception more than men of other races or ethnicities” (McEachern 72)?

“Environmental experiences such as domestic violence, poverty, gangs, racism, divorce, marital affairs and religion impact children” (McEachern 78).

“Children who grow up in poverty sometimes think that becoming an athlete or rapper is the only way out of poverty or the only type of success” (McEachern 78).

“Disproportionality affects test scores, educational systems, child welfare systems and governmental systems.  Test scores determine the need for prisons in reference to the school prison pipeline” (McEachern 83).

“There is a misperception about black women in society. When a black woman presents expectations to a man, she is seen as needy, bossy and a gold digger.  When a woman who is not of African American descent expresses the same thing from a man, she is seen as a trophy wife.  When a woman of European descent presents the same thing, she is viewed as a classy woman with standards.  When a woman of European descent presents the same standards as a black woman, the Caucasian woman is credited for implementing rules of dating when she expects a man to pay for dinner or when she tells a man what she desires out of a relationship.  The value of African American women is reduced not only by dominant culture and society, but by men, particularly African American men. The media, radio, music, television, newspapers and movies have devalued African American women when in reality African American women are honorable, respectable, classy, elegant, beautiful, educated and hardworking women.  Dark skin women are viewed as angry, unattractive and uneducated within modern society.  African American women are seen as loud, irate, insensitive and angry women as a result of labels from some African American men, media, movies and music.  Television, magazines, social media, internet, videos and some music present Hispanic, Latino, White and Armenian women as trophy wives, idols and models while presenting African American women as mistresses, one night stands, casual sex, gold diggers and “baby mamas.”  Latino and Dominican women are viewed as physically beautiful while Caucasian women are viewed as ideal and classy within media, music, music videos and movies.  Media presents black women as bitter, scorned, ghetto, ratchet and promiscuous as if women of other races do not exhibit those characteristics.  Women of other races are on television and the internet using profanity, fighting, engaging in sexual acts and cheating, however, there is an emphasis on African American women who exhibit those behaviors” (McEachern 85).

“Some African American men want to have babies with women who are not of African American descent because some African American men do not want to have an African American baby that looks like their African American Mother, African American Sister, African American grandmother, African American aunt, African American Father or themselves.  Some African American men do not want to have brown skin or dark complexion children. Instead some believe that having children with women who are not of African American decent assures that the children will have lighter complexions and good hair” (McEachern 86-87).

“Some people view biracial children as beautiful. Yet African American children who are not biracial may not be seen as beautiful though they are equally beautiful” (McEachern 87).

“There is no difference between nigger and nigga, so why are some African Americans making excuses to use either word” (McEachern 95)?

“Interestingly practices that occurred during slavery have continued generationally in modern society. Not only were dark features treated differently in the past, but dark complexions are treated differently during a time when racism and discrimination are supposed to be nonexistent” (McEachern 106).

“Some people live in a bubble within their own neighborhood, family and friends without ever facing the harsh reality that privilege, racism and discrimination exists” (McEachern 108).

“Those who live sheltered lives and have never experienced racism tend to believe that everyone has equal opportunity if they work for what they want, when reality is, some can work harder than others but never achieve the same wealth nor opportunities solely based upon the color of their skin” (McEachern 108-109).

“Sometimes children reenact the behaviors they are exposed to at home” (Page 113).

“There is a myth that more African Americans receive government assistance such as work first, food stamps, Medicaid, housing and Health Choice” (McEachern 117).

“The middle class is the working class, sometimes working two jobs to survive.  Or the middle class is the college educated professional with student loan debt attempting to sustain their lifestyle.  College graduates are struggling to locate employment” (McEachern 117).

“People who have never had to work for anything, never lived in poverty or as middle class carrying the poor and wealthy, do not seem as concerned with poverty or helping others because they are not affected.  People who only know wealth and privilege are unable to identify with poor and middle class populations” (McEachern 118).

“There is nothing endearing about or complimentary about the words bitch or nigga” (McEachern 119).

“Radio, television and social media promote violence, illiteracy and fast money” (McEachern 123).

“Media present cheating, domestic violence, and child abuse as issues that are more fluent within the African American race.  The media highlights drugs, prison and black on black crime instead of highlighting African Americans who are doing well.  Media presents white life as valuable and purposeful, but black life is presented as valueless” (McEachern 123).

“The media spends more time focusing on celebrity hairstyles, rappers getting caught with drugs, pictures of celebrities at the beach, celebrity weight loss, cars celebrities purchase for their children and celebrity parties for their children, instead of focusing on important news events such as missing children, missing adults, crime, poverty, war, foreclosures, unemployment, police brutality, violence, burglary, discrimination, racism, videos going viral showing children fighting each other and videos of abuse.  Media and radio make light of children punching each other and using profanity instead of using the platform to advocate for change as well as consequences in reference to those types of inappropriate behaviors.  Media focuses on fashion, celebrity sexuality, celebrity sexual partners, celebrity dating lives, instead of covering momentous information worth reporting that occurs within communities” (McEachern 124).

“Black babies were stolen from slaves, tied up with rope and thrown to alligators in swamps” (McEachern 125).

“Ex-wives of celebrities, girlfriends of celebrities and Mothers of children from celebrities feel entitled to a celebrity lifestyle without any hard work or credentials” (McEachern 126).

“Social Media encourages attention seeking” (McEachern 127).

“Athletes are exposed to women who are interested in money.  The sad reality is often times athletes continually chase women interested in money who are highly likely to leave after they are labeled injured or end up broke” (McEachern 131).

“There is a myth that African American hair does not grow” (McEachern 133).

“There is a theory that good hair is long hair possessed by biracial women, multiracial women, Hispanic women, Latino women, Asian women or Caucasian women” (McEachern 133).

“Sororities and fraternities should not exhibit behaviors that parallel gangs in terms of initiation, violence, fighting, division, profanity, name calling and recruitment” (McEachern 135).

“People who have not experienced racism or discrimination may be unable to identify or relate to racism” (McEachern 143).

“Have you ever heard someone say “I don’t see race or I don’t see color?”  Everyone sees race and color. The difference is how race and color are viewed.  Ignoring race and color is ignoring a part of a person, their heritage and their culture. Therefore, seeing color and race is acceptable when seeing race does not limit equality or contribute to racism, but instead seeing race enhances holistic understanding of an individual.  Seeing race is acceptable when learning about culture, ethnicity and values that may be influenced by race. The color of a person’s skin does not determine their character” (McEachern 145).

“There are studies that predict how many prisons and jails should be built in correlation to the suspension rate of African American males from school” (McEachern 147).

“Having one minority on a jury changes the decision” (McEachern 147).

“There are various tactics interfering with voting which include eliminating early voting, implementation of literacy tests, poll taxes, registration process, grandfather clauses, requiring proper voting IDs and restricting” (McEachern 163).

“Studies show that the SAT does not predict how well a person will perform in college nor reflect how intelligent a person really is in various areas” (McEachern 167).

“Testing influences academic tracks that children are placed on in school such as placement into advanced math classes in middle school, honors classes in high school, advances placement classes in high school, international baccalaureate courses in high school and taking college prep classes in high school” (McEachern 167). 

“Society does not respect those who work hard for what they have.  The middle class carries the country, but the middle class have no safety net” (McEachern 170).

“Individuals who cannot afford to purchase condoms cannot afford to have sex” (McEachern 171-172).

“The higher minorities excel in education, the more exposure to hidden racism, prejudices and discrimination” (McEachern 173).

“There may be other issues such as divorce, discipline, environmental factors, poverty, academic performance, insecurities, identity struggles, peer pressure, domestic violence, learning disabilities, religion, bullying, birth order, absent parent and discord with a parent that contribute to symptoms and behaviors that are mislabeled as a mental health diagnosis” (McEachern 174).

“Some depression is not long term, some depression is circumstantial, particularly in reference to African Americans. An African American can be diagnosed with depression due to meeting criteria outlined within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, written by American Psychiatric Association, though that may be a snap shot of a temporary circumstance.  The same person a clinician may have diagnosed with depression may have lost a job, house, car or healthcare.  The person diagnosed could be homeless, stressed out, crying, unable to sleep or over sleeping, depending on others or having no one to depend on. Yet things could turn around for the person then all of the symptoms that were present may all go away once the person is able to sustain” (McEachern 175).

“Privileged individuals may be unable to identify with the impact of environmental factors, challenges within the working class or life experiences of those living in poverty, therefore they misdiagnose.  Sometimes clinicians do not ask enough clarifying questions or follow up questions to get a clear picture of what is going on with an individual who has been referred for services or someone who took the initiate to seek treatment” (McEachern 176).

“Individuals who have served our country should have access to mental health and substance abuse services lifelong.  Interventions should be in place while they are active and after they are inactive from the service” (McEachern 176).

“Peoples experiences cannot be discounted due to others inability to identify or relate to their experiences” (McEachern 187).

“People may be communicating ineffectively with each other as a result of gender differences and cultural difference” (McEachern 188).

“Black Jazz musicians began referring to each other as man because they were often called boy by dominant culture.  Some of the activist marching during the Civil Rights era were women.  Some of the protestors during the civil rights era were man and women who were not of African American descent” (McEachern 190).

“People will change when they are ready to take steps towards change” (McEachern 212).